I am driving around Paknam looking for an apartment for me to live in. It is starting to rain. I have been to nearly ten apartments already but none of them had vacancies. Actually there was one place, but the room was way too small and there was no window. No way am I going to stay in a rat hole like that. But who knows, I might have no choice if I cannot find somewhere to live soon.

My problems started a few days before this. I was having quite a big argument with Tai. The argument soon led to a fight. I tried not to hurt her but after she kept hitting and throwing stuff at me, I finally lost control. I grabbed her around the neck and pushed her down on the sofa. She shouted out loud that she couldn’t breath. When I stepped back, she jumped up and started to breath in and out very fast. As I walked away, she shouted out that she would kill me if I came back.

I went out for a walk and then took a motorcycle taxi to the nearby market. I walked around and bought some food and then headed back to her house. The front door was locked from inside but luckily for me a window was broken. I reached in and opened the door.

I slowly walked to the computer room where we just had the argument but she wasn’t there. I then went up the stairs and headed to the bedroom. I peered around the bedroom door to see inside. It was dark but I could see that she was sleeping in there. I slowly walked in. Before I had a chance to turn on the lights, she jumped up and started to throw things at me. She also shouted out for her mum’s help.

Some of the things she was throwing at me were hitting me very hard so I quickly stepped outside. A few minutes later her mum came down and she asked me what was going on. I told her about the argument we just had and said that I was trying to make up with Tai. She then went in to talk with her daughter.

Nearly half an hour later she came out and said to me that it’s all right. She also told me that I mustn’t keep having an argument like that and also I must never ever hit her like I did again. She gave me an evil look before walking back up to her bedroom.

I slowly walked back into the room and saw that Tai was lying down with her back to me. I went to lie down on the bed and said to her that I am sorry about what happened. I said I didn’t like us keep having an argument like this. She didn’t say anything but turned herself towards me and cried. We then went to sleep together like that.

Then, a few days later, we again had the same old argument. But this time it was different. She told me that she wanted to break up with me. She said she was bored with us arguing all the time. She also said that she had found someone else that loved her. I told her that she would never find someone that loved her as much as I did. She replied that she had been going out with another man for the past month. I then stormed out of the house.

It is now 8 p.m. and I have finally found myself an apartment. It is quite nice but the room looks empty. There is only a mattress on the floor and a wardrobe. But, at least I will have somewhere to sleep tonight. However, I don’t think I will sleep well as I feel so depressed. I don’t really want to spend the night thinking about what happened today. So, I will go out to buy some beer and I will probably come back and cry myself to sleep.