The first time staying in my new apartment wasn’t really a nice moment to be remembered. Most people would be so happy about it. Instead of having some kind of house warming party, I drank a bottle of beer all alone. Kind of weird, huh? Maybe for some other people, but for me it is the story of my life.

Four days have now passed since the day Tai and I separated. At the moment I am standing in a telephone booth alongside the busy Sukhumwit Road in Paknam. I am trying to make the right decision about whether I should call Tai or not. Is it a good idea showing that I want to get back with her? Should I wait for her to contact me first? Is it too soon? I don’t want to let my heart make a rash decision and mess up the whole thing.

The last four days have been really difficult for me, especially on the second day when I had to go and get my clothes from her house. I called my parents and asked them for some help. They said to me that they would like to help me but they couldn’t. My mum explained to me that this is a personal problem between Tai and me, so it would be inappropriate for them to get involved. I kind of thought this would happen so it wasn’t much of a surprise. I was totally fine about it.

I didn’t really want to meet Tai at that time, as I was still angry with her for having another affair. So I chose to go to her house when I knew she would be at night school. It was about seven o’clock in the evening when I arrived by taxi. I quickly went into the house, walked straight by Tai’s mum without saying anything and went up to the bedroom. I grabbed all of my stuff and stuffed everything into two big baskets. On the way back down the stairs, I bumped into Tai.

I didn’t expect to see her at home so it was kind of a shock for me. I felt really uncomfortable and hurt to be there facing her so I quickly left the house. Back at my apartment, I couldn’t really sleep that night as I kept seeing her face floating in the air every time I closed my eyes. I had to go out to buy myself some more beer. This time one bottle wasn’t enough to put me to sleep.

I woke up on the next morning with a very bad headache. I also felt exhausted, as I probably didn’t get enough sleep. I got myself up from the bed and made it to the shower and then got dressed and went to work. I wasn’t feeling well at all but I still chose to go to work rather than staying alone in the apartment.

The next few days I kept finding myself thinking about what I had done wrong and what could I have done better in our relationship. I was also thinking about the boy she was having an affair with. I was wondering whether she was really seeing another guy. Maybe the whole thing was just a trick to break us up.

I tried to put myself in her shoes to see how she felt about our marriage. I started to see more and more all of the little things that might have annoyed her. Like the days when I scolded her for not doing any housework or going out to spend our money with her friends instead of saving it for a rainy day. I didn’t realize it until now that I was sometimes a real jerk to her back then.

After quite a long time of thinking I have decided that it is time for me to ring her and apologise. I just hope that her mother doesn’t answer the phone. From what I saw, she looked very happy that we have broken up. The decision made, I lift my hand and start to dial the number… ring ring … ring ring….