I just got off the phone after talking to my mum about my 18th birthday party. I was pretty surprised that she had remembered. Usually my parents are too busy with their work. I didn’t think that anyone would care or remember it. I was expecting to be home alone with my girlfriend celebrating it quietly with a little cheap cake from 7-Eleven.

My mum told me to meet up with them at their house. Then we would go to visit my grandmother and have dinner there. Before we hung up everything was fine and I was still in a happy mood. But, as soon as it came to the end of the conversation, my mum said something that completely changed and destroyed my happiness. She said, “If you are there before me, don’t steal anything from my house while you are waiting.”

I hung up the phone without saying anything. I didn’t even say goodbye. She really put me in a bad mood. I do understand that I can’t really be angry with her. In the past, when I was addicted to drugs, I stole lots of things from them. I was lucky that they forgave me so many times. But I kept doing it until they gave up forgiving me. They locked up everything and they even took the house keys away from me and locked me out. But, even that couldn’t stop me. I broke into their house and took some gold necklaces to sell. After that, my parents tried to send me to prison.

I remember that every time I stole something, the less wrong it felt to me. The first time I did it I felt very excited. My heart was thumping very hard and I felt very nervous. I was really thinking about putting the stuff back to stop my nervous feeling. But I didn’t because I needed the money for drugs. That first time I was successful and there wasn’t anyone who knew anything about it so I kept on doing it. I started with taking small things and that led up to more expensive ones.

I tried to stop but I couldn’t, as I considered stealing as a right thing to do. Also, for me it was the easiest way to get some money. All I had to do was take things I had stolen to the local pawnshop in Paknam to get some money. They never asked questions about where I got it. Lots of my friends did the same.

If it weren’t for drugs, I wouldn’t have become a thief. But even after I quit drugs, stealing was still with me, as it had become a bad habit. If I could go back and change the past, I would definitely not start stealing. Every time something goes missing, I am the one that people point to.

Really I shouldn’t be angry with my mum for what she said on the telephone. It’s not her fault. But really it’s just that I don’t want her to think that I am still that kind of kid. It hurts and I am very upset with what she said. If I were alone in the room, I would like to cry instead of keeping it inside. I regret the mistake I made in the past. But, every time she acts like that, it makes me want to steal more.

I don’t really know yet what it is like to be a parent so I shouldn’t judge her. I read somewhere that the first few years are the most important in your baby’s life. If you do a good job, then your kid will be good in the future. When I was young, I didn’t see much of my parents because I lived with my grandmum. I think it is important that I spend all of my free time with my girlfriend and my kid. At least, I won’t let this thing happen to my kid. I will make sure she doesn’t make the same mistakes as me.