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My Secret Diary - 1998-2001

This is the Secret Diary that I started writing when I was about 13. I didn't do it every day. Just when I felt like it. The story is mainly about my first girlfriend at Junior High School. I was probably one of the first bloggers in Thailand. When I was about 16 years old, the Bangkok Post invited me to write a weekly column about my life for their newspaper. This column was called "Gor's World".
An Unfortunate Surprise Print E-mail
Written by Panrit "Gor" Daoruang   
Saturday 10th March 2001:

 I found out that Rean can't go on date with me tomorrow :-( She said that she got to go out with her father. I felt very sad. She also said that we can't meet until April because she's got to regrade her exam.

In the night time we talked again. I was trying to make myself feel normal but I think it wasn't working. She knew that and kept saying sorry. I said it's OK don't worry about it, we still have next time (but not until April). I talked to her until 3 o'clock in the morning. After she hung up, I couldn't sleep until 4.30 in the morning.

 
Sunday 11th March 2001:

Got up at about 12 o'clock. Cleaned my house as usual and went to work at school.

Rean rang and said that her dad hasn't come yet. We talked for nearly an hour then I had to work on my web site. Came back to work until 9.30 p.m. Watched "Malcolm in the Middle" on cable tv until 10 p.m. Then went back home to sleep.

Phone rang and woke me up, it was Rean! I quickly asked her about today that she had fun or not. She said not really, will be more fun to go with me! We talked until 3 o'clock in the morning and she said that she got to go to school to regrade tomorrow. So we both hung up.

Monday 12th March 2001:

Ton phoned to wake me up at noon. He asked me to go to sleep at his house today. I asked him who with, he said O and Benz. So I said OK and told him I'll be there at about 9 p.m. Went to do housework then took a shower. Went to school by bus to work on my web sites.

Finished working for today, then went back home. On the way Richard took Phong and me home, I told him that I'll sleep at Ton's house today so I asked him to take me to Ton's house. I was there at nearly 10 o'clock. They all swore at me because they all waited for me to come. Then we went out to have our late dinner. I only got 20 baht in my pocket and then after I paid for my dinner, I got nothing in my wallet! So I asked them to go to Ton's house first and I'll go back home to get some money. They gave me 20 baht each (60 baht all together) and told me to buy a bottle of whisky to drink tonight. I said it's 75 baht for whisky then they said "you pay another 20 baht then". Then I quickly ran back home to get money from my mum. She gave me 100 baht. I told them that I am sleeping at Ton's house today, they didn't say anything. I ran to the shop to buy the whisky, then ran back to Ton's house. Very very tired, God.... why did I rush!!! I slept for a while then Benz woke me up to play fighting. I tackled with Benz, O with Ton. I fought with O first then Benz with Ton. It was very fun and very hurt. We stopped to drink some whisky then started to play again! We can't play after that, all of our body hurt. We sat down and laughed and drank and talked. We played chat line on the phone, O found a group of four girls and we have four here. Then we matched the girls, I got "Tai", Ton got "Jear", O got "Muay" and Benz got "Jang". We all got their phone numbers and we will ring them tomorrow! We went to play the counter-strike game then my PCT rang. It was Rean, she said she got something to tell me and she asked me who was with me now. I said I am at Ton's house, O and Benz too. Then she said never mind and told me that she will tell me tomorrow. I asked her why? She said because I wasn't alone.

Tuesday 13th March 2001:

2 a.m. We are still drinking and talking.
4 a.m. Moved up to Ton's bedroom. Still drinking and reading cartoon books, smoking as well.
5 a.m. Chatting around, drinking and smoking.
5.30 a.m. Finished last glass of whisky, still smoking.
6 a.m. Benz and Ton fell sleep.
6.15 a.m. Ton's mum came in and took a look at what we were doing. I was talking to O.
6.30 a.m. O and I fell sleep.

We were got up at 2 p.m. Ton and O woke me up by using the stick on my butt. I kicked them both and hit them back on their butts. Benz still slept when we were playing. We used the lighter to burn his leg hair. He screamed like a girl and swore at us. Ton got kicked out by Benz because he can't moved away quickly enough. Benz missed O and I hahaha at poor Ton.

 We came down to brush our teeth then we went out to eat without taking a shower! We ordered the food then we went to play snooker. We played for a while then the food came so we went to eat first. After we finished eating, we went to play it again. The first game nearly finished but Ton's father came and told him to go home. O, Benz and I were sure that his dad will scold him. We were planning to go home but I remembered that my PCT and house keys is in Ton's house. So we walked to his house. I saw his father sstanding right in front of the door and scolding Ton. We walked out and waited until Ton came out, we waited for about 15 minutes. He came out then I told him about my PCT and house keys. He went in and got it for me then we walked to my house. I asked Ton what did his dad say, he said his dad told him to cut his hair. I don't think I can believe that! Ton went to cut his hair, O and Benz went to my house. When we were at my house we kept talking about Ton until he came. We all said sorry to Ton, he said don't worry. We were talking about this and that until my dad came. Then I told my friends I need to go to work so they all went home. I went to do my work at school.

In the evening I went back home to talk to Rean. She told me yesterday that she has something to talk to me so I asked her. She said not now talk for a while first. We were talking until midnight, I asked her again then she said OK and told me to calm down. Then she dropped her bombshell. She told me she is really a "boy". I was dead shocked, couldn't even say a word. We were quiet for about 10 minutes, then I asked her "really?". I couldn't believe it because she sounded so much like a girl. She said "Yes". After that she told me what happened to her in her life. She said when some people found out they all swore very very bad at her. Some of them she first me on the telephone agreed to meet alone but when she went there, that boy who agreed to meet brought about 30 of his friends there. They all teased and laughed at her until she cried. I felt sorry for her when I heard that. I thought to myself if this thing happened to me, what would I do? People can choose to be that way, she just chose the wrong way and became like this. I'll try my best to make her be a real boy who loves girls and not boys. She dresses like a boy only thing is wrong is she likes boys. I told her we can be friends only she said OK. We carried on talking about her life. It's very sad, no-one in her family remembered her birthday. Sometimes she bought herself a cake and presents and celebrated her birthday with her dolls.

I promised to myself that I'll make her to be a real boy.

Wednesday 14th March 2001:

I couldn't sleep last night. I was a bit disappointed because I really liked "her". I went through my list of girls, there are ...

  1. Yui
  2. Nook
  3. Kwang
  4. Frank
  5. Mint
  6. Da
  7. Kratae
  8. May
  9. A
  10. Rean
  11. Tai
out
out
out
friend
going to be out
Maybe
Maybe

out
out
friend
Maybe

I got 3 maybes, who will I choose. God, headache.......

Tai rang, I said I wasn't feeling very well. She asked for my address, I asked her why, she said she will send her picture to me so I gave it to her. Then I hung the phone up and went to sleep. Got up and went to work at school.

Jear rang my PCT and told me that she will come to visit her aunt next Saturday. She said her aunt lives near Satreesamutprakan school and she asked me to asked Ton to meet. I asked her to bring Tai here as well. She said she will take all 3 of her friends (Tai, Muay and Jang). We hung up then I rang Ton, O and Benz to tell them this. O told me he knew it already, Muay must have told him. Then I rang Tai and talked to her. She said she didn't know about that, Jear hadn't told her yet. I talked to her about this meeting up for a long time. I really want to meet her. They all live in the other province, but the province is nearby.

Thursday 15th March 2001:

 Frank rang in the morning while I was doing my housework. She said she just got back from Satreesamutprakarn School (the school I am learning right now). I asked her why did she go there for. She told me she might go to learn with me next term. I was amazed. Now she's back to "maybe" not "friend" hehehe ;-)

Tai rang in the early afternoon saying that she has already sent the letter to me! and told me that tomorrow she will go to scout camp. She gave me Muay's pager number and asked me to page her, I told her I'll page her often!!!

Rean rang and we talked for a while. I talked to her like a normal friend. We talked for quite a long time then I felt sleepy, then I asked her to hang up. I went to bed straight after we hung up.

God!!! O came and woke me up. He came to sleep with me tonight. I told O about Rean then I went back to sleep. O told me later that he rang and talked to Rean. He said to me he wanted to make Rean to be a real boy. Same as I wanted to do!!! He woke me up after he finished talking to Rean* (I didn't find out it until the next day). Then we sat down and talked about Rean for a while then we changed the subject to Tai and Muay.

Friday 16th March 2001:

No sign of the letter yet.

Got up at about 8 o'clock to page Tai and went back to sleep again. Got up again at about 1 p.m. paged her again! Went to work at school then came back home to ring O. I asked him to come and pick me up. I wanted to go to sleep at his house. I paged Tai again and again before we went to bed. I can't wait to meet her on Tuesday!!!. I know you heard this before but I don't think the same thing will happen. I only wish one thing. All the spots I got in the last week will go before my date!!

 
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xxx
If you are a teenager reading my secret diary then you should understand that there are consequences for everything you do. Choices you make as a teenager will affect you for the rest of your life. I know. During the summer holidays after I graduated from Junior High, I became addicted to drugs. Becoming addicted was the easy part. It was almost impossible to quit. Four years later I was arrested for drug possession and sent to prison. I never did finish High School. Please don't make the same mistakes as I did. Choose your friends wisely and "just say no to drugs".
 
If you like my website, then you might be interested in my autobiography. It is all about my teenage years in Thailand. Buy today at BuyThaiBooks.com or at PaknamBooks.com if you live in Thailand.
 
Thailand Life Book

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If you like my website, then you might be interested in my autobiography. It is all about my teenage years in Thailand. Buy today at BuyThaiBooks.com.
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