Homepage > Thai Youth Issues > Sex, lies, and Generation Y

Date: 11th April 2001, Bangkok Post

Ukrit Kungsawanichu

As if teen years are not hard enough, each generation suffers the label of worse than the last and misunderstanding reigns supreme-to clear up the confusion, the biggest survey ever undertaken on teenage behaviour in Thailand attempts to paint a realistic picture-but more than results, what are the causes of current teenage angst? And what should we be doing about it?

Thunderous music blasts from hi-fi speakers as a bunch of school girls, clad in skimpy tank tops, tight, flared-bottom pants and platform heels, dance in colourful spotlights highlighting their sweaty pan-caked faces, bubble gum-glossed lips, and flamboyantly-dyed hair. The sight is normal, and the screaming and shrieking is considered usual here, in a club where youthful vigour and vitality are given full rein.

Welcome to their world-a world viewed as inappropriate, frivolous and nonsensical, where youngsters are supposedly hooked on drugs and fired-up with loud music, the booming beat of electric drums, dim lights, along with sporadic hallucinations and ample alcoholic drinks.

Nowadays kids are commonly featured on the front pages of newspapers for their impetuous, unpredictable behaviour. This depiction of teenage life in the media worries many parents who assume their sons or daughters could become the next victims.

Is there any truth to the stereotype?Orasom Suthisakorn, writer of many books on teenage behaviour, said parents are stuck in the much-vaunted "good old days" when children thumb-wrestled for the last piece of candy, or played board games to entertain themselves. In reality, the world has changed and it's a natural phenomenon-kids are still the same while things around them have become different. "However, some youngsters are prone to be exploited by sugar-coated poison pills in eye-catching colours. When swallowed without awareness of the consequences, they cough up plenty of social shortcomings, from rape, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, and even murder," Orasom said.

So what is at the root of such violent behaviour? Patchara Samutavanit, columnist of Manager magazine and frequent commentator on youth culture, says globalisation and hi-tech communication networks, which bombard Thai teenagers with taboo subjects like sex and drugs, entice youngsters away from mundane school lessons to more tangible real-life experiences.

There are other major factors.

"In the last decade, the world has moved so fast that we, the older generation, can't keep up," added Orasom. "As a result the generation gap has widened so much that we are unable to communicate with youngsters."Trying to bridge that gap with cool remarks over the dining table, parents find kids rolling their eyes and giggling at their attempts. Trying to listen to the conversation of two 13-year-olds, adults feel as if they are on another planet. Such awkward moments create tension and discourage both parties from engaging in family conversation. Once silence becomes the after-dinner dessert, isolation often creeps in and family ties begin to fray-and kids start looking outside the house for socialisation and fun. Nights out, though, worry many parents, who think being on the dance floor is a crime. Parents are scared that by swinging their bodies their children will spin out of control and have sex with anyone who crosses their path. Just the thought of one's daughter being in close physical contact with a stranger in the night may push one to the edge of a nervous breakdown. In fact, the frenzy on the dance floor is not the scariest part of nightlife, argued Orasom.

"There are many kids who go clubbing regularly just to dance. They don't use drugs, get drunk and nuzzle up to people they meet on the dance floor. They are mature and strong enough to resist the temptation, thanks to their families who raise them with love and strong moral principles."Naturally, whirling into the strong current of sexual excitement, and getting high on drugs are also common among the clubbers who yearn to leave frustrations behind even for a little while. These kids usually come from troubled homes or conversely, from families where parents shower them with money and brand-name clothes rather than affection and understanding.

"Some youngsters are weak of will and are easy to lead down the dangerous paths of unsafe sex or pill popping which can lead to addiction and violence."One effort to get the inside scoop on youths today resulted in the largest youth survey in Asia, "Project Roar". The results were released last month. The project surveyed more than 500 Bangkok residents, and included door-to-door interviews with young people from the ages of 15 to 29.

Martin Duffy, the managing director of Optimum Media Direction (OMD), coordinator of Project Roar, said that unlike other surveys, this particular project was raw and unsanitised.

"We asked them explicitly about sex partners, condom usage, Aids, and one-night stands. The survey is a fairly good representation of what they are doing and thinking nowadays."Although the survey was primarily conducted for business purposes-mostly for media and youth marketers-the results revealed some significant changes in habit. The subjects were recruited demographically in the capital, and the surveys were done by knocking on doors and face-to-face interviews. The selected subjects had to keep detailed weekly diaries. The final list for the survey was narrowed down to 500 people and, according to OMD General Manager Wilai Somdungjate, the survey is a valid representation of Bangkokians aged between 15 and 29 years. "The survey may be flawed and biased-for example, participants may not tell the truth to protect their 'good girl, good boy' image. There is always room for interpretation when you are dealing with human emotions and sensitive issues like sex."Whether it is true or not that 29 percent of youths believe that one-night stands are acceptable or that only 33 percent said what makes them happiest is being with their family, the results of this survey were drawn from a very small percentage of the population.

Orasom, the author of a newly-released book- The New Species Called X-Gen- for which she interviewed real rave-generation kids and schoolgirl prostitutes, says she believes teens today are in trouble.

"This is the most vulnerable time of life. Teens want to experiment, but they are clueless about proper safety measures."She added that young teens are now having sex shortly after they hit puberty. Some of these pubescent youths are so advanced and mature beyond their years that "many are going so far as to show prurient interest in group sex and acting out other outrageous erotic fantasies".

In their efforts to liberate themselves or mimic western "skinflicks", these young teens are, however, oblivious of safety precautions when they sleep with their lovers, Orasom observed.

"Many said that they don't use condoms when they have sex. They mistakenly believe that the withdrawal method will prevent pregnancy. That isn't true, of course. The only risk-free method is abstinence." Moreover, these young girls take contraceptive pills incorrectly, using them as emergency contraception or thinking that swallowing a handful before sex will not lead to pregnancy. Orasom said problems arise when parents and teachers avoid discussing sex because they feel it is inappropriate and perverse. Kids are then left to their own devices, left to find the ans wers by themselves. "There is no better time than now to have sex education in school. Don't just teach them about the science of reproduction, but also the pitfalls of unsafe sex."Patchara also added that adults shouldn't blame children for their behaviour, but rather themselves for exposing the future generation to these tempting vices.

"It is adults who lure young girls into prostitution, profit from selling drugs, and bombard children with fallacious trends for their own benefit. The customers of sex clubs where young girls are available are none other than adults, so it's time for our generation to accept responsibility."Orasom couldn't agree more, and added that parents and teachers should make an effort to understand young teens, not the other way around.

"We have to change our priorities and give them more of our time, because they are our nation's seeds of hope."

The teen perspective-life and values

Gip, a 15-year-old prostitute

'I got money from an older man who I had sex with several times. He gave me cheques for 20,000 baht, sometimes 30,000 baht. When I slept with him, I felt very disgusted-you know, he wasn't my boyfriend whom I love.

"The money I earned, I spent on frivolous things. It's a very bad habit, but too bad-I'm already addicted to this habit.

"After a couple of sessions with him, he asked me to bring along some friends. So I did, thinking that I was helping them earn extra pocket money. Some of my friends are very poor and I offered them an opportunity to get easy money.

"But now I know differently and I want to tell all the girls out there to be careful and don't make the same mistake I did years ago. I am now spoiled and it's too late to turn back."

Aun, a gay college student, aged 20

'My parents divorced when I was three. My grandma raised me and I am closer to her than anyone in my family. I hardly talk to my dad. He is a reticent man, but when he speaks, he always shouts. He wants me to do exactly what he says, but most of the time, I resist. He often hits the roof when I raise my voice.

"I started to go out at night when I was a sophomore. We usually go to gay bars on Silom Road, and sometimes to Royal City Avenue (RCA). I don't drink and I go out only once a week. I have to lie to my family because I don't want them to worry about me.

"I started going out with boys when I was 16. So far I have been with four different guys, but my relationships don't seem to last long. Now I am single but I'm not a slut.

"I had my first sexual experience when I was 19. Most of the time I meet people via the internet. We exchange pictures and then chat for awhile. We lie sometimes, but that's for the best.

"We also have a special vocabulary that is understood only by gay men: Sia means let's meet or Sap means awesome.

"I feel awkward when I am with my family. I can't tell them that I like guys. I want to meet a foreign man who will give me true love, but that's difficult. In the world of gay people, loneliness is normal."

Fah, a 15-year-old student and wife

'My dad is a playboy and has a hot temper. My mum is the opposite, so they used to quarrel over stupid things all the time before they split up five years ago.

"I met my husband two years ago. It started out as puppy love but then one day he took me to his house and we were alone. He asked me to have sex with him, but I refused. So he raped me, but I do love him.

"We were both so young back then and we never used any protection when we had sex. I didn't know I was pregnant until I went to see an obstetrician. I went to see a doctor before and he told me that I just had an ulcer. The pain in my stomach didn't go away and I missed my period for a couple of months.

"When I heard the news, I was appalled. I like children very much but my husband's parents suggested I have an abortion. They said they didn't want me to leave school.

"The whole procedure cost 20,000 baht at a private hospital. It was very traumatising and painful. I felt really bad, and I really want to have kids some day."

Jew, a 20-year-old in a top college

'People say I spend money like water on brand-name clothes, leather bags and jewellery, but my parents are able to afford it. I didn't do anything bad or steal money from others. I am at the top of my class and I don't go out at night to party in the clubs.

"I am not trying to exaggerate my parents' wealth by buying the same bag in four different colours. I never asked from them anything too expensive."

Nut, 19, in college

'I go out and party just to dance and meet my friends. I don't engage in any illegal activities or sniff drugs. It's the adults that get paranoid because of the news on television. People are different and I think parents should look at their kids as individuals.

"I am mature enough to know what's good and what's bad. I manage my schedule carefully and I have a plan for my future."

Taken from The New Species Called X-Gen, by Orasom Suthisakor