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Date: September 6th, 2001, Bangkok Post

Look at our kids, and see ourselves

Sanitsuda Ekachai

Protecting our children from bad influences when Thailand is a den of vice is an uphill task. That's why parents cannot thank Interior Minister Purachai Piumsombun enough for his strict enforcement of the laws governing night spots. But we would be foolish to believe that tough laws alone are enough to safeguard our children.

Yes, we need a better regulated entertainment industry. But what do we do when a lot of bad influences are present right in our home?

Just look at what our kids watch on TV. Can we blame our children for being attracted to drinking when they are told every day that drinking is a cool, fun activity that is a natural part of manhood for men and self-confidence for women?

It is strange that smoking is now almost a crime while drinking, which is far more damaging to families and society at large, is still glorified, and the alcohol and advertising industries are allowed to brainwash our kids day in and out.

Just for the record, road accidents rose to 73,737 in 2000, with 11,958 people being killed and about 920,000 injured.

Drunk driving is known to be a major factor in road accidents. Drinking is also a major cause of domestic violence.

But it is normal for children to see their fathers engage in heavy drinking with their male friends, often until the wee hours. It is also common to send minors to buy alcoholic drinks from local shops. So if our children are brought up to think drinking is a way to have fun, can we place all the blame on the night spots?

Boys are taught to celebrate drinking and sexual conquests as essential parts of manhood. The advertising industry lays heavy stress on youthful sexuality to attract teen consumers, young girls are bombarded by advertising to feel it is chic to be sexy, and children are provided with easy access to pornographic reading and video materials, so is it any wonder our teens flock to night spots?

And when they slip, it's usually our daughters who suffer most. When there is an unplanned pregnancy, the girls risk being jailed if they choose to have an abortion. Or, if they choose otherwise, they risk being stigmatised and forever condemned as a loose girl. Boys, as always, get away with murder _ unless drugs, Aids or a horrible car crash while drunk catch up with them first.

If we really care for our children, we must create a social environment in which our children can develop healthy self-esteem. But what do we have to offer them now?

Given our rote-learning education system, kids who are not academically inclined have few outlets for creative self-expression. Only middle-class families can afford the special tutoring needed so their children develop their own talents. But even that doesn't mean these kids will escape the power of materialism.

Children learn from what happens about them, the way adults live their lives. They have learned that money is everything. That all that matters is appearance, not the essence. Meanwhile, the advertising industry keeps telling them they cannot feel good about themselves unless they use certain products. The more expensive the better.

If we care to ask, kids might have painful stories to tell which explain why they want to overcome their loneliness by revelling the night away.

This is the reality of our children. Yes, we need better laws to regulate night spots, alcohol and the media to protect our children from bad influences. But we also need to rethink our own values, be it glorifying drinking, sexual exploitation or materialism.

For children are mostly a mirror of ourselves.

- Sanitsuda Ekachai is Assistant Editor, Bangkok Post.sanitsuda